A stonewaller personality is a type of behavior where a person will become unresponsive and avoid engaging in any meaningful dialogue when faced with an uncomfortable situation or an unwanted emotional, legal or financial demand.
This type of behavior is often used as a way to cope with difficult social encounters or as a means of retaliating against those who make unwelcome demands. People with a stonewalling personality have a difficulty expressing their emotions and may resort to silence in order to avoid any potential confrontation.
They may not actively listen to what someone else is saying, instead preferring to remain composed and unresponsive. Furthermore, they may take a long time to respond to questions or requests as a way of putting off confronting what is making them feel uncomfortable.
In some cases, this behavior may be a sign of underlying emotional issues, such as depression, anxiety or a need for control.
How does a stonewaller feel?
Someone who is stonewalling is likely feeling overwhelmed, isolated, and on the defensive. They are trying to cope with their emotions by pushing people away. Stonewalling can be a result of fear, a lack of trust, feelings of inadequacy, or a feeling of being overwhelmed.
The underlying feeling is that of being disconnected from the situation, and it can be a sign of mistrust, disrespect, and a lack of communication within the relationship. This can be an avoidance tactic and it conveys a perception of the person’s relationship, which may be out of touch with reality.
Stonewalling can lead to frustration and resentment, as well as the feeling of being misunderstood or unseen. It can also cause a lot of confusion and hurt feelings between two people, and can lead to further distancing, which can be damaging to a relationship if not addressed.
What is the personality of a stonewaller?
The personality of a stonewaller can be quite difficult to decipher. They appear to be indifferent to the emotions of others and incredibly guarded with their own emotions. Their reserve is often interpreted as aloofness or even coldness, which makes them difficult to connect with.
Stonewallers tend to avoid personal conversations and deflect questions, instead avoiding meaningful connections. While it may appear that they are ignoring any attempts to draw them out emotionally, it’s likely they are doing this out of fear of vulnerability.
They may be guarded in order to avoid feeling hurt or exposed, often seeking the safety of solitude and isolation. Stonewallers can seem closed off and detached, but their true intentions are to protect themselves and their emotions.
What type of person uses stonewalling?
Stonewalling is defined as the refusal to communicate or cooperate. It is often used when someone is feeling overwhelmed, showing they are withdrawing from the conversation and no longer engaging. A wide variety of people could use stonewalling as a means of avoiding a difficult conversation, though they may do so with varying levels of intent and under different contexts.
People who tend to be more passive-aggressive may use stonewalling as a form of manipulation, refusing to engage and cooperate with the conversation in order to gain the upper hand in a dispute. They might also use it to preserve their power and influence, avoiding the need for compromise or resolution.
People with unaddressed anger issues or unresolved trauma may also use stonewalling. They may be unable to handle the intense emotions of a discussion and resort to silence as a way of self-regulating or shutting down to protect themselves.
Stonewalling may also be used by people who have difficulty expressing their emotions. They may feel overwhelmed by the topic, not knowing how to adequately explain themselves or articulate their feelings, and instead retreat from the discussion.
Regardless of the person or the context, it’s important to recognize when stonewalling is being used so steps can be taken to address the underlying issues, come to an agreement, and resume effective communication.
Why is stonewalling painful?
Stonewalling is painful because it is a form of communication that involves one party cutting off all communication with the other. It can feel like the other person is rejecting you, as if your feelings, opinions, and statements are not important.
When someone stonewalls, it can be a powerful form of emotional and psychological abuse that can lead to feelings of hurt, anger, and frustration. It can also create a sense of powerlessness and defenselessness, as if you are unable to communicate without being dismissed or ignored.
This can be particularly hurtful in relationships, where one partner may feel unheard, invalidated and unwanted. Stonewalling can damage the trust between two people and weaken the relationship, leading to further pain and potentially, eventual separation.
How do you talk to a Stonewaller?
The best way to communicate with a Stonewaller is to listen to what they are saying and ask questions that encourage further discussion. Acknowledge and validate their feelings, but be sure not to push too hard.
Ask them open-ended questions that give them an opportunity to feel heard and respected. Talking about how their response makes you feel can also be helpful so that they learn how to react to difficult conversations more constructively.
Additionally, try to avoid personal attacks, name-calling, and criticism. Remain calm and patient, understanding that it may take some time for them to open up. Offer your support and understanding, and remain respectful and non-judgmental no matter what they say.
Finally, strive to be clear with your own expectations without putting pressure on them.
Is stonewalling a form of control?
Yes, stonewalling is a form of control. Stonewalling is a tactic of ignoring someone else’s point of view and refusing to engage in a meaningful dialogue. It involves an unwillingness to listen and respond to what the other person is saying.
By not speaking and avoiding the relationship, the person doing the stonewalling is attempting to control the situation. They are trying to keep the communication from moving forward by refusing to offer information or their own perspective.
Stonewalling can have a damaging effect on relationships as it creates a sense of frustration and helplessness in the person being stonewalled. It is a form of emotional manipulation as it makes the person being stonewalled feel unheard and powerless.
It can also lead to a lack of trust within the relationship, and it can create distance between two people.
It is important to recognize when stonewalling is happening, as it can be detrimental to any relationship. If you are experiencing stonewalling, it is important to talk to the person and make efforts to restore communication.
It is also important to set boundaries and make sure that your feelings are respected and valued.
How long should stonewalling last?
Stonewalling should not last for an extended period of time. As a communication tactic, it can be effective for short periods, as it can help to de-escalate an argument and give both parties a chance to cool down.
However, it should not be used as a long-term strategy, as it prevents constructive communication, which is essential for a healthy relationship. If stonewalling is used as a long-term tactic, it can lead to a breakdown in communication and can ultimately damage the relationship.
To prevent this, it is important to take a break from an argument when emotions get too high and use active listening to try and understand each other’s views. This will help to create an environment where both parties can communicate openly and constructively.
Is stonewalling a personality disorder?
No, stonewalling is not a personality disorder. It is considered a type of behavior, usually seen as a response to emotional distress or conflict. It is identified as a pattern of behavior in which one partner will become defensive and will not communicate openly with the other partner.
Stonewalling is considered one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse in relationships and can be very damaging in a relationship. It can be challenging to address this type of behavior because it can quickly become entrenched and difficult to break.
In most cases, the person engaging in stonewalling will have an underlying emotion (e. g. fear, anger) that needs to be addressed in order for the behavior to change. Professional counseling can often be beneficial in this situation in order for both people to better understand and address the underlying emotions.
What causes someone to stonewall?
Stonewalling is a type of behavior where one person withdraws from conversation, refusing to engage or respond to their partner in any meaningful way. It can be an act of abandonment or hostility and is often seen as a form of manipulation when it is used as a tactic in a disagreement.
The reasons behind someone’s stonewalling vary, but typically it is seen as a way to shut down a conversation and avoid taking responsibility or facing difficult emotions, such as anger or fear. In some cases, it is also a way of clinging to power and control as one partner feels like they are losing out in an argument and wants to regain control.
Other common causes of stonewalling include: high levels of stress, feeling overwhelmed, feeling ashamed or misunderstood, and simply not being able to express one’s feelings in a way that is not seen as hostile or confrontational.
Stonewalling can also be a sign of underlying trauma or attachment issues, where a person feels scared, unsafe, or unable to trust and open up in any meaningful way.
In order to address stonewalling, it’s important to remember that it is rarely intentional and is more likely to be a form of self-protection or defense in the face of perceived threat. Taking a step back and trying to better understand the underlying reasons behind the behavior can help to foster a trusting and safe environment where both partners can better open up and communicate.
Should you tolerate stonewalling?
No, it is not acceptable to tolerate stonewalling. Stonewalling is a type of communication where one person will become totally unresponsive. This is especially difficult because it makes it impossible to continue the conversation.
Stonewalling can make the other person feel unheard and devalued, and can cause upheaval in the relationship. It can seriously impair the connection between two people, as it shuts down all forms of communication.
The stonewaller will often resort to giving one-word answers or walking away whenever the other person is trying to engage in conversation. This type of behavior can be abusive and create an atmosphere of mistrust and even hostility.
If you find yourself in this situation, it is important to express your feelings and work on communicating more openly and effectively.
