When it comes to why we keep going back to toxic relationships, the answer can be complicated. It could be a mix of being caught up in the thrill of the relationship, fear of being alone, low self-esteem, or even a lack of understanding of healthy relationships.
It’s common for us to have a somewhat distorted view of love and relationships, which leads us to be more vulnerable to toxic relationships. It exists in a kind of loop where unhealthy habits, negative attitudes, and destructive behaviours form a reinforcement of unhealthy relationship models.
We may also be stuck in a cycle of justification and rationalization, where we make excuses for our partner’s behaviour, and convince ourselves that we would never be able to find another partner who treats us this way.
We put up with unhealthy behaviours because we believe that no one else will be able to provide what we have in this relationship. We may also be afraid of abandoning the relationship because we feel that if we leave, we will never find anyone else that could make us feel happy, loved, and secure.
Finally, it’s very common for those of us who are stuck in toxic relationships to feel like we need to stay and make it work, for the sake of the relationship, and for the sake of our partner.
In order to break the cycle of toxic relationships, it is important to take the time to reflect, and evaluate why we keep going back. It could be helpful to seek counseling or therapy, as a trained counsellor can help you identify deeper issues like low self-esteem, poor understanding of healthy vs.
unhealthy relationships, or fear of being alone. Additionally, it is important to remind ourselves that it is not our responsibility to ‘fix’ our partner, and we should remember that our worth and value lies within us.
We all deserve to be in meaningful relationships that are built on trust, respect, and love.
Why are toxic relationships so addictive?
Toxic relationships can be incredibly difficult to break away from, and it’s often because they are so addictive. Toxic relationships are filled with moments of excitement and passion, and it can become like a drug.
The excitement of being in a whirlwind romance, and having so much new and exciting emotion can be intoxicating, and people can become addicted to it. Additionally, often times people stay in toxic relationships because they become comfortable in the things they know and they don’t want to rock the boat.
People can become stuck in routines, and find it difficult to break away even when they know how bad it is for them. Additionally, people can also stay in toxic relationships because of fear. People fear being alone and fear having to start all over again.
They can be scared of the unknown, and so they confide in the same toxic relationships. This can be extremely damaging to one’s mental health and self-esteem, as people can start to internalize their worth and lack of self-love from being in these relationships.
Why did my healthy relationship turn toxic?
It can be difficult to pinpoint the exact cause of a healthy relationship turning toxic, as there are often multiple factors at play. Common reasons why healthy relationships can turn sour include: a lack of communication, changes in values or beliefs, unaddressed issues or unresolved conflicts, incompatible expectations, a lack of trust, or a lack of commitment.
A lack of communication is an especially significant contributing factor to a relationship becoming toxic. When both parties don’t express their feelings openly and honestly, they can easily become resentful and frustrated with one another.
This can lead to bottled-up anger and cause strain on the relationship.
Incompatible values or beliefs can also be a major contributor to a relationship becoming toxic. If two partners don’t see eye-to-eye, it can create feelings of tension, distrust and resentment.
Relationships may also turn sour if issues and conflicts go unaddressed or unresolved. If one partner doesn’t feel heard or understood, they may become increasingly disenchanted with the relationship.
Incompatibilities in expectations can be a major issue as well. If two people have different expectations for their relationship—like one person wanting to get married, and the other not wanting to ever get married—it can cause mutual frustration and resentment, leading to a toxic relationship.
Trust is also an essential aspect of any relationship; without it, it’s difficult to build and maintain a healthy partnership. When a lack of trust is present, it can eventually lead to toxic behaviors from both parties.
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, a lack of commitment can lead to a relationship becoming toxic. A lack of commitment shows that neither person is making the proper effort to build and maintain a healthy relationship, leading to feelings of neglect, frustration, and disappointment.
Ultimately, there are many possible factors that can contribute to a healthy relationship turning toxic. To ensure that the relationship remains healthy, it’s important for both parties to be honest about their feelings, to openly communicate, and to be committed to resolving and addressing any issues that may arise.
How do you convince someone to leave a toxic relationship?
The first thing to understand is that convincing someone to leave a toxic relationship is not always an easy or straightforward process. Each person’s circumstances are different and it can be difficult to know how best to approach the situation.
The most important factor is that you provide emotional support to the person in the toxic relationship. Listen to their concerns, offer reassurances, and provide a non-judgmental environment for them to express themselves and their feelings.
It can also be helpful to help them focus on the positive, by reminding them of the strengths, thoughts, and ambitions that make them unique and that are worth protecting. Encourage them to look at the big picture and consider how their relationship is holding them back from bigger and better goals.
It is also important to give them practical ideas for how to help them make their separation as amicable as possible and support their safety in the process. You can talk to them about their housing, financial, or legal options.
For example, offering help with paperwork, or providing a safe, secure place to stay during the transition.
Finally, it is important to respect the individual’s decision, whatever it may be. Remember that a person’s choice to stay in a toxic relationship is complex, personal and hard for an outsider to fully understand.
Whether an individual chooses to stay or leave, it is vital that you provide a non-judgmental, understanding shelter of support.
Why does my toxic ex keep coming back?
It can be difficult to understand why a toxic ex keeps coming back, especially when they weren’t able to fulfill their obligations in the past. However, there are a few possible explanations:
1. Lack of Closure: It’s possible that your ex is unable to let go because they still have unfinished business with you. There may be unresolved issues or arguments that need to be addressed, or your ex may lack closure on the relationship itself.
If your ex feels like there’s something left unsaid or unresolved, it might be motivating them to come back.
2. Unmet Needs: Your ex might be coming back in an attempt to have their emotional needs met. It’s possible that these unmet needs are a result of your relationship with them and that they’re expecting you to fulfill them now.
It’s also possible that there’s something else motivating them to return to you in order to feel better.
3. Fear of Moving On: It’s possible that your ex is scared of moving on. This fear could be related to the relationship itself, or it could be related to something else entirely. It’s possible that they’re scared to face their future on their own and they’re using you as a crutch to help them move ahead.
Whatever the case may be, it’s important to remember that your safety and well-being should always be a priority. If your ex is exhibiting toxic behavior, then it’s best to keep your distance and seek out help if needed.
What do you do if a toxic person comes back?
First and foremost, it is important to remember that no matter how hard it can be, you have the right to set boundaries, and this includes when a toxic person comes back into your life. If you have been in contact with a toxic person and are having difficulty cutting them out of your life, start by firmly but respectfully expressing that you do not want them in your life and that you do not want to be in contact with them.
It can be hard to do this without being aggressive or rude, so take the time to craft your message appropriately.
If the toxic person continues to contact you, be firm in your boundaries and repeat that you do not want them in your life. Consider blocking them on various platforms, or even disconnecting from any accounts you share with them if necessary.
Taking a break from social media or deleting any contact information for them might be a helpful step as well. Depending on the individual, it might also be wise to let other friends or family members know about the person’s toxic behavior so they can better recognize and protect themselves from any manipulative or damaging tactics.
Take the time to recognize how difficult it is to have a toxic person in your life. If the individual is a family member or even a close friend, it can be hard to step back and take care of yourself in these situations.
Take time to process your emotions and to practice self-care. Make sure to reach out to trusted friends and family for support, as well as professional help if necessary. Anytime we interact with a toxic person, it can be emotionally draining and even triggering, so make sure to take extra care of yourself.
